This piece was written over a year ago, just before I stopped nursing my son around 9 months (which I posted on Facebook, forgetting that not everyone sees that first). It's still hard to remember that time, but kind of amazing that what got us through--more sleep when my husband took over nighttime parenting and ultimately medication for me and formula for the baby--feels so much less anguished now. I got better, such as it is, and my son is fine. It was so hard to give him that first formula bottle. And then it wasn't. Almost exactly like starting medication was for me years ago. But I'm also still glad, hard as it was, that we made it to 9 months with nursing. And he still takes a bottle at bedtimes, because I still feel just a little like I took something away from him and I want him to at least have the bottle as long as he wants. This kind of decision is different for every mother and I don't pretend to know what's right for anyone else. I just try to tell the truth and hope that helps.